Four years ago today, I started dating the absolute love of my life. Never have I felt so happy and free to be who I really, truly am with no exceptions, restrictions or negativity intertwined into absolutely anything. It’s a breath of fresh air to be with someone who fully supports your dreams and aspirations, who is patient, and who is unwaveringly loyal. I know that I’m blessed for having what we share, and believe me when I say that I never will take this feeling for granted.
However, it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It took me many years to find this person, as well as many downfalls personally and relationship wise. While I had dated good men in the past, I had also experienced horror stories. Manipulation, emotional abuse, verbal humiliation – You name it, I’ve experienced it. And after my last relationship, I swore to myself that I would never go through that again. I made a promise to be good to myself both mentally and physically. I told myself that I was worth more than the way that person was treating me, which was a difficult period; mental manipulation can have you fully believing whatever comes out of the abuser’s mouth. I began to realize my self-worth again in time, as well as what I deserved and who I wanted beside me as a partner to go through life with. I know they always say, “Good things come when you’re not looking”, and as cliche as that sounds – it’s true in my case.
I’m writing this for those people that have gone through hell and heartbreak, and feel like there’s no one out there for them. Those people that feel like they’ll never find someone who truly and wholeheartedly accept them for who and what they really are. I am LIVING PROOF that you can and that you will! You will find someone some day who thinks that the sun shines out of your ass. Someone who will make pancakes with you on Sunday mornings and tell you their biggest fears, aspirations, and you will do the same. You will find this; be patient. It will come!
The key here is to not settle for less. Not happy in your relation ship? Break it off. Feeling unfulfilled? Break it off. Feeling unappreciated, unloved, or unworthy? BREAK IT OFF. I cannot stress this enough. You should never feel these things in your relationship, and life is TOO SHORT! So many people stay with their partner out of habit; they’ve been together for so long that the next step is to get married and buy a house. Or they’re scared to be without said person, or scared of being alone. But… are you happy? I’m talking like, so-happy-your-head-sometimes-feels-like-it’s-going-to-explode-because-you-feel-so-lucky-somedays happy? If not, you need to have a serious talk with yourself and realize that you deserve that kindness and that love. You deserve real love, and not mediocre habitual like.
Look, I know that love and relationships are not all glitter, fairytales and cartoon hearts flying out of your heads 24/7. In fact, it’s far from that. Yes, fights happen. Yes, people get in bad moods and get on each other’s nerves. Bad things happen in life and certain aspects of everyday living can strain relationships, making emotions high and stressful. Sometimes you will take it out on each other, yeah; this comes with the territory of being so close both physically and emotionally. But, at the end of the day if you’re not able to look at that person and go, “Wow, despite all of this – I know that they would do anything for me. I know they love me, I know that they make me safe. I know we are having a rough patch, but damn I love them. And I know they are thinking the same thing right now” Then, is it worth it?
Life is too short my eccentric, loveable, worth-it friend! Your person will come, your happiness will come – be patient, never settle, and love yourself first. The time is now! xoxo